What do we believe? And what is the power of belief? Is it what we read in textbooks, or what has been published that makes it "belief-worthy?" Perhaps we need to hear what an "expert" believes to make it our own. What do you believe and where, or what, is your source?
One of the challenges I face as a Life Coach and Hypnotherapist is unraveling, or even digging up, what fundamental beliefs a client has. Usually, it's a belief that is sabotaging a successful life; very often, they don't even realize they have this belief until I ask the right questions that they are able to uncover it in the answers.
Let's talk a little bit about beliefs. I had an ah-ha moment the other day. I was feeling rough--really rough. I lay there in bed after cancelling all my appointments. My fever was 101 and rising. I lay there in misery thinking, "I believe I have the flu." Then it dawned on me what I just thought. "I BELIEVED I had the flu." Oh my, I believed it. My thoughts stopped as realization dawned on me.
A Course in Miracles teaches that only illness is capable of growing in a split mind--one that thinks it's separate from God and from one another. Perfect health is our birthright, our God-given birthright as Sons or Daughters of God. So, if that's the case, I am whole, I am healthy and the flu doesn't belong in my belief system, or my experience, because it doesn't serve me as a Son of God.
As soon as I realized the truth of my 'wholeness,' my fever broke. I could actually feel my fever break and my body cooling. I also felt my sinuses drain and I could breathe through my nose, something I was unable to do just a few minutes earlier. I got out of bed. As the realization of the power of belief came over me, I got so jazzed, it's all I could think about. How powerful we are! How amazing our thoughts and our creative abilities! I was so excited, I did not sleep that night as the power, the magnificent power, played through my thoughts on what I could do to change this world for the better. What we all could do if we truly put our minds, and BELIEVED, we could.
I take this another step further now, in my practice. I often work with patients who believe they are chronically ill. By introducing this belief pattern into their life, I've witnessed what some would term miracles. The man who, for 30 years, suffered from a debilitating case of Crohns. He decided to not believe he had it. He literally told himself that Crohns was not in his life experience, he chose not to have it there and no longer believed he had the disease. Guess what? He just celebrated 6 months of painfree existence, enjoying food and drinks that would have previously landed him in the hospital.
This all takes faith, lots of faith. It involves not believing what you see on the X-rays or in tests that show you different results in the near-term. My client who had breast cancer who realized how much her beliefs have affected her health decided she didn't have tumors growing anymore that were resistant to treatment. The X-rays said she did until last week. The biggest one is now gone. No special treatment--just reflexology performed every two weeks and a visit to a chiropractor. Otherwise, it was picturing herself the way she wanted to be. The way she believed she should be. She's changed her belief system and cancer is no longer part of her experience. As her body catches up to her new belief system, I know I will hear about the X-rays coming up tumor-free!
The interesting thing about all of this is that we all have it--the power to change our life by changing our belief about something. Imagine our lives, our world, if we actively chose to believe what served us and disbelieve what didn't. Now, we would see a lot of changes. All the professions that made money off our fear, off our disease, would be looking for a new line of work. Is that so bad?
What do you believe? Does it serve a Son/Daughter of God? Does it serve you and who you want to become? We do have the power of choice. Exercise it and BELIEVE you can!
You've just finished reading the latest book, or listened to the latest CD, on the Law of Attraction. "Feel good now," you're advised. Or "get to a better feeling place." "Your predominant thought manifests itself." "Emotion gives power to the thoughts" are all just some of the key phrases that sum up the book, the lesson plan. You can do this, you think. Bring it on. Bring on the good stuff 'cause I'm ready!
Ever find yourself in the post-Law of the Attraction crash? You're doing all the things right. You've focused on your thoughts about what you want, carefully monitoring them and "feeling good" about them. You spend an inordinant amount of time daydreaming, or visualizing the life you want, the car, the house, the partner, the money. It feels good. It feels so good. But then it starts.
You're dreaming away and then life happens. Perhaps it's money lost, or money going out that you weren't expecting. "No problem," you think. I can get through this because I know the Law of Attraction. So, you keep thinking of what you want and feeling good about what will be and then another little blip on the radar screen. Or you start thinking about the how. The egoic mind loves the how.
"I am properous," begins the affirmation and you start the visualization. But then the mind reminds you of that bill on your desk. Or the car that broke down. Stop, you remind yourself. Feel good about what's in the future, what's coming down the road. "But how," that naggy little voice says and you start pondering how you'll work this. Now, it's got you...
So, we start planning and visualizing and feeling more and more. A little bit of desperation creeps in when we catch ourselves worrying about how we just felt--desperate. Oh geez, I'm not doing it right. Now you're worrying about the feeling you just had, or what you're going to manifest because you're not feeling exactly good. Perhaps it's crept into losing sleep trying to calm your mind and find your happy place to bring about what you want to manifest. Meanwhile, you steadily see your life falling apart--the manifestations of what you don't want.
Stop. Yes, I said stop. Stop everything because anything you do now is only going to spin you up more and more. Stop and breath. Yes, breath. Take a deep breath in through your nose. I mean deep. Fill your stomach up first and then allow to expand into your chest. This deep breath should take at least 5-8 seconds. Then exhale the same amount of time through your nose. Breath in the same way for the same amount of time and exhale. Count the seconds in, count them out. That's your only focus. DO NOT put in any affirmations because your ego mind is freaking out and you'll only serve to feed that mania.
Focus on the here. The right here. The next second, the breath in your lungs. Do it. At least ten breaths and don't be surprised if it's painful at first. But go through it. Keep going. Five minutes of breathing. Give it five minutes. Then stop and feel your being. Yes, your BEING.
You actually have sensation in your hands. You can feel your feet, the muscles in your legs. The individual organs in your body. Wow, you're alive. Sit with it because that is all you have to do. Just BE.
Now, slowly say the affirmation. Perhaps it's the one I used as an example earlier, "I am prosperous." How do you feel now. Elated, I bet you. Hold on to it. That's the feeling you want. What's your action plan? Only the next breath. That's it. And then what's in front of that. Don't worry, it will make itself evident and you will know what to do.
As human beings, we often get caught up in the action plans. We know we're supposed to visualize and feel good about things because that brings our wanted manifestation to us faster. Where we screw up is not the human part--the action, the thinking, the imagining. We screw up with the being.
We are human BEINGS. What we need to realize to make the whole Law of Attraction work is the BEING part. "Be here now," literally means BE HERE now. Don't worry about what you're not doing right, or the wrong thought, or the wrong feeling. Feel good in this second and only this second. Yes, you know what you want. It is out there and it feels good to think about it but stop putting yourself so far out there. You aren't being here now. You're "there" and there is no power "there."
Slow down, feel good now. Just this second and only this second. Then, my friend, you will create your dreams. But begin with what's in front of you NOW.
How many people do you know that live in the past? All they talk about is how great it was "back then," or "remember when." There is a time and place for everything and I have enjoyed some good laughs over memories shared, but when it takes over one's life so that their entire focus is backwards, then I believe it becomes a problem.
One of my greatest teachers in this lifetime is my mother. The woman who taught me how to tie my shoes, brush my teeth, cook and "the social graces," as she refers to them. She still continues to teach me in her 82nd year...but now it's the contrast of what I want in my life.
My mother is suffering from the early stages of dementia. Since my father died over 6 years ago, my mother has for all intents and purposes, died with him. All she does is look back. She has piles of pictures she thumbs through each day remembering the good and the bad, each person and their history. She tells me she lies in bed each morning remembering decades and if she gets it "right," she's proud of herself. I ask her why she doesn't start with the day right before her. She responds with a statement that basically says she is alone with two cats so what's there to feel good about. Oh, now she's in my territory!
I get excited as I tell her about the Senior Center and all the wonderful events and activities they do each and every day. Or the beautiful area she lives in and how exercise and fresh air would do her good. "Think of what you can do today that will create a wonderful tomorrow, Mom," I excitedly tell her. "Your power is in the now. Right now." I continue on with the same vein of thought because this stuff excites me. We are truly the creator of our reality, of our own destiny. As a lyric from a song that often repeats through my head from a CD from Jerry and Esther Hicks on Law of Attraction, "If you want it, you can have it. Just get out of the way."
I invite her for dinner and overnights. To spend time with me and my family. I drop off reading material and CD's that I feel are uplifting and positive in nature. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she can heal herself. She can heal her mind if she surrounds herself with healing light and energy. With good stuff--good thoughts, good people, good feelings. And look forward. Feel good now and use her mind to create what she wants tomorrow. Yesterday is not coming back. Why look that way?
But no, not what she wants to hear or do at all. She rejects it. She refuses to participate. I try again. I get frustrated. I get angry. But why? It is her life. Why am I projecting my own thoughts and beliefs on her and then getting mad when she doesn't "fix" herself or allow me to help her?
A Course in Miracles tells us we are all one and when we feel separated and angry at another for what we perceive as a grievance, we are really attacking ourselves. This is her road, her path, her experience. All I can do is love and accept her. I know she has bought the illusion of this world and the almighty ego. It's a good story and many have bought it at the expense of their peace of mind, and piece of mind (hello, Alzheimers & dementia).
This is her experience. When she is ready, she will re-member what really exists and what is true. Until then, I will learn from the contrast she provides me and continue moving forward. I don't want to go back. I love creating my tomorrow right now!
Yes, I really do hear what your body has to say. We all have that sensory perception for ourselves and each other, but rarely do we take the time to listen much less interpret what we hear. It really hasn't been until recently that I have taken the time to listen.
In addition to my "day job" as life coach/hypnotherapist/Essential Oils therapist, wife and mother, I am in school to become a Natural Physician. Part of my education is completing case studies--lots of case studies. Currently, I am working on case studies for my Reflexology certification. I use polarity and acupressure, in addition to Essential Oils, to relax and release points in the feet and hands that correspond to organs and systems in the body. Sometimes the message is pretty direct and others more of a feeling.
The first time I got a direct message from someone's body, I jumped thinking there was someone else in the room. I had my eyes shut and was exploring the reproductive system around the ankles. I hit the man's prostrate and immediately a voice said, "Lay off the beer." I jumped and opened my eyes to see who said that. No one there, minus my client who had his eyes shut and was deeply relaxed. I shut my eyes and touched the point again. The message came again, "Tell him to lay off the beer."
Now, I'm sensitive to the whole "being seen as a friggin' nutcase" scenario so I'm thinking how do I deliver this message without sounding crazy. My client feels me starring at him so he opens his eyes. I ask very demurely if he drinks a lot of beer. Yes, he nods, he does. I don't care to know how much so I gently suggest that his prostrate is "irritated" (the voice sure sounded that way to me) and he should back off some on his beer intake. Whew, message delivered.
Being the equal-opportunity gal that I am, I will also note that I get the same messages from women too. I can feel what side of their body will ovulate that month (I can literally see the egg in my mind's eye), and feel fibroid tumors in their uterus. I have also been credited with starting the menstrual cycle after a Raindrop and another with a Reflexology treatment by women who wanted that outcome. Now, I'm not sure who should get credit for that since I firmly believe we are the creator of our own dreams and successes.
I have been told by a stomach and digestive system before that the woman needed to stop eating so many taco's, especially from Taco Bell because it wasn't very happy and didn't serve her or her family. I have also felt "black holes" where the adrenals or ovary should be and later found out the client forgot to tell me she had Addison's disease or that ovary removed.
Thyroids have told me to share that they are out of balance and need to be regulated. Kidneys and liver also have a lot to share. These are a huge reason I made my Essential Oils kits. The kidneys and liver hold alot of emotional baggage. They hold the anger, the resentment (liver) and often keep life from flowing (kidneys) and moving forward. I feel blocks, knots, and irritations. I use alot of 'Release' oil on these two points and the client always reports feeling better--feeling more at peace.
And yes, I have heard the same things from my own body before. I knew when I miscarried because I heard a voice distinctly say "bye." I looked around to see who said it and then felt the cramping and bleeding start. I have also felt my soul separate from my body after a major surgery. I knew that was one of my check-out points and also knew that we had just adopted two more children and my husband couldn't handle three children on his own. I remember saying over and over again, "But I can't leave now." The voice clearly said that was my choice but it was my last check-out point for 50 more years. Okay, then. Might as well make the best of it!
I really look forward to more case studies and adding Reflexology to my practice healing mind, body and soul. The body speaks to us all the time. Do you take the time to listen?
I often am asked what I do for a living. My response that I am a Transitional Life Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist usually gets a puzzled look. Some have the courage to ask me exactly what is a Life Coach and how does it differ from counseling. Others just mumble and walk away, or ask about the Hypnotherapy piece completely ignoring the life coaching portion. So, let me address what a Life Coach really is and the difference between counseling and life coaching. Counseling, as defined by http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com, is “treatment of mental disorders and behavioral disturbances using verbal and nonverbal communication, as opposed to agents such as drugs or electric shock, to alter maladaptive patterns of copying, relieve emotional disturbance, and encourage personality growth.” Wow! I am definitely NOT a counselor. Counseling focuses on what is wrong with the person. Life coaching focuses on what is right! A Transitional Life Coach works with people going through changes in life. I help you see opportunities in that change. The whole “change your mind and change your life” mantra. Did you know that almost 95% of our beliefs and attitudes are formed before age six [1]? It is the way that our young minds struggle to discover how this whole world works, and our place in it. It is survival and it is okay. We then spend the rest of our lives perceiving situations and events that support those exact beliefs and atitudes. One of the questions I often ask is how does that belief serve you now in your 30's, 40's and beyond? Most likely it doesn't so we need to find a new belief that serves you. A new belief that serves the person you are and want to become. When I meet with a client, I see this incredible and perfect individual before me. I am inspired by all that is right and all that works! My job is to get that person to see what I see about themselves. Sure, things “come up” in sessions and that's okay. Life coaching is about identifying the roadblocks, or subconscious programming, that inhibits the person from achieving their goals in life. Then we create a different belief, one that serves them, to take them to their next level. Psychological counseling also takes time—lots of time. I know a woman that has been in “therapy” for 30 years. Really? Thirty years? Life coaching is about providing the client with the ability, the tools, to achieve their goals without years of commitment. With few exceptions, my clients transition out in 8-12 sessions (3-5 months). My coaching goal is not to spend years analyzing your “issues” but to help you uncover what is holding you back, and develop new beliefs and attainable goals. We then work on reaching those goals together. I gently push and celebrate your victories. I am your greatest fan! If you don't achieve your set goals, we step back and ask why. What held you back? Is there another belief that doesn't serve you? Then let's create a new one that does. I am not discounting psychological counseling, not at all. It has a valuable place and many people benefit from it. But life coaching is not counseling. Life coaching is short-term, goal-oriented, and works with high-functioning individuals to change their mind-sets ultimately allowing them to fly solo. My reward is seeing them succeed, and making a lifelong friend in the process. [1]Katz Delauney-Leija. “What is Energy Modality Psych-K?” EFT, MTT & Tapping Therapy Articles, The International Energy Psychology Article Archive, www.eft-articles.com
These simple yet profound words were stated by one of my clients during one of our sessions last week. It came while we were setting a goal and a timeframe to meet it. It struck me deeply when she said it. As I ponder her words now, I reflect on how it sums up everything I am attempting to accomplish in Life Coaching. Deeper still, my work here on this earth.
I Can... How often do we really say these words? I mean, really say it and mean it? And realize that yes, we CAN. We are powerful creators made in the image of God/Universe/Spirit. We are creators by just being and we CAN much more than we fully realize. By uttering these two simple words, we open ourselves up to unlimited possibilities. "If you think it, you can achieve it," William Arthur Ward stated. The options are limitless--all that is required is your willingness...your I CAN.
I Will. Notice she didn't add "try" to the end. She has committed. She WILL accomplish this. She realizes it's possible and she WILL do it. By uttering I WILL, the step has been taken and her goals will be reached. Commitment is vital.
I AM. The two most powerful words in the Universe. By uttering those, she realizes her power. She is manifesting; she is creating; she is unstoppable.
Wow. I am truly humbled. I stand in the light of greatness. How often I am reminded that I might be the coach, but I am always, and inevitably, the client. I am taught so much by my clients every day. I ask questions, I gently probe and point, but they provide the eurekas, the answers, the insight. How wonderful is that? Thank you...
I have to credit the title with an incredible woman I have just recently met. This is Isabelle Laak's quote, "To be highly spiritual, you need to be highly grounded." Where did this come from? What was the context? As all of our conversations tend to go, we started talking about spirituality. I was sharing with her a personal story about a family member that considers herself so spiritual, so above us all, and doesn't believe in right and wrong. She openly celebrates people that hurt, people that intentionally do harm. In fact, her celebration of these individuals has caused my direct family pain, and lots of it. Yet she is so "spiritual" and causes others that much hurt? It doesn't make sense. Although I understand where she's coming from since my own studies in spirituality tell me we shouldn't consider things "right or wrong." They don't really exist since it is a value judgement and each person's, each culture's, values are different. "Right and wrong" are only man's judgements. God really doesn't care. Then why does it feel so "wrong?" And why does it hurt so much? Wise Isabelle says, "To be highly spiritual, you need to be highly grounded. That means you need to have a moral compass. You need to judge between right and wrong. That is the Law of this reality, this world. We have 'right and wrong' because one causes joy and the other causes pain." Wow. She nailed it in so few words. I've spinned this concept in so many ways trying to understand how this family member could be so uncaring, so unsympathetic, so callous. She opens her arms to the ones that cause pain and hurts the ones that only want to love. Now, I know the ones causing the pain need love too, but does it need to come from a family member so up-close and personal? No. That is where I stand. I guess I am truly a "lower spiritual being" and so be it. I firmly believe that we choose our family before we come to this reality. We choose those people that surround us, be they family, friends, etc. I believe we do this because this reality, this world, can be a pretty ugly place and the people we put around us, called "family," can help us get through it, or contribute strongly to our growth and development. Morality is a part of this reality. Now different cultures define morality differently, but it all boils down to celebrating love and joy (doing right) or causing pain and suffering (doing wrong). Family and friends should look out for their family and friends. Celebrate the right and cushion each other from the wrong. This does not validate all out war, or personal attacks by family or friends, to those people that "wronged" them. No, not at all. But it does mean you don't embrace the person causing your loved ones pain. Send the wrong-doer love, but wrap your arms around your family or friend that is hurting because of it. Stand by them and love them all the more because they need it. Don't turn your back on the ones "wronged" to love the one that caused the pain. That hurts even more. I will embrace my truth, although it might be considered "lower" in the spiritual realm by the self-proclaimed "higher beings." I will stand by a moral compass on this earth that celebrates love and joy as "right" and pain and suffering as "wrong." Although I will not intentionally hurt the wrong doer, I will send them love instead and walk away. I will embrace and LOVE, with all my energy, the person hurting because of the acts of another. Perhaps by grounding myself in the law of this reality--the moral compass--I will eventually become more highly spiritual. I will not cause others pain though, in my qwest for this higher plane. I am not judge nor jury. I do not pretend to be. I am love and I seek to be light so I may guide others to joy. This is my purpose. I send this family member love. May she continue on her qwest to find what she is looking for. We, though, will not have her around us or in our lives anymore. Go in peace. We choose "right"--love and joy. And I am grateful for that choice! [Isabelle Laak, owner of Holistic Massage, LLC, operates out of Berthoud and Boulder, CO, She is an extremely gifted massage and colorpuncture therapist. Check her out at www.integratedholisticmassage.com
I seem to be having a lot of wake-up calls lately. Maybe they've always been there, or maybe I'm just "getting it" now. I have always been a seeker, I guess. It isn't until recently that I am willing to label myself that. I ask questions, I love the deep dive, or "peeling the onion" as I often refer to it. I'm now realizing the answers were always there; I just wish I had been "getting it" a lot earlier.
This past Friday, I was reading my daily email from Bob Proctor, Insight of the Day. Every Friday he puts out a story. This one was titled, Remember the Love. This one spoke to me, and continues to speak to me. The very last paragraph of the story, written by Veronica Hay, states, "...I found my truth. The secret to success and the secret to life is in the love. Once I knew that, I knew everything."
Why is this so profound? Why did I experience an "Ah-ha" moment? In 1996, I was going through a divorce. It was your typical divorce, I guess, ugly, nasty and very vindictive. I was told I was going to pay for leaving the marriage and boy did I. I was at my lowest, deeply depressed and seriously thinking of committing suicide. I had a dream that at the time was very puzzling. Not only was it very clear but it also was extremely confusing, especially during a time that I was lucky to clock two hours of sleep a night.
I was driving a car on a very steep and twisty road. The woman that was my Matron of Honor in our wedding was in the back seat and very much pregnant. My ex-husband was in the passenger seat and for once in his life, not saying a word. I kept driving faster and faster and then realized I wasn't in control of the car any longer. We crested this one hill and as the car failed to make the left turn, we went flying off the cliff at full speed. The nose of the car pointed down and we were free falling. I remember being scared but mostly very sad because I was taking out my friend and her soon-to-be baby boy. As we continued to fall, my friend leaned over into the front seat and said to me, "All that matters is love. Nothing else does. Just love." I awoke with a start and wondered what the hell. I must admit that I have thought of that dream from time to time over the years and gave it a, "Yep, that's right. Love matters." Remember the Love brought it all back to me and my lightbulb clicked on.
We all have our challenges and very trying times. We close ourselves off for protection or just because we've been batted around for so long, we are just plain bruised and can't feel anymore. Everything hurts so we shut down the heart, we shut off the love from giving it to feeling it. What if we felt all of it? We opened ourselves to the pain and allowed it to course through our bodies without resistance. No blocks, no pushing it down and back, but out there screaming your pain out loud to a trusted and loving listener?
"Wow, that sounds really really scary. What if I can't handle it? What if it completely destroys me?" "What if I get locked up because I am a friggin' nutcase?" There's the ego stepping up and in. "Whatever you do, stay tough, stay strong, and repress this." Don't blame the ego, it's just trying to protect you. But by "protecting" you, it represses, it blocks emotions that need to be released. What happens when you dam water flowing down a river? You have to have some way of venting, or releasing it, or it will overflow and flood everything below. It's the same with our bodies. We need that release, we need to remove resistance because by blocking and repressing we cause illness and disease. The same treatment that sought to protect is in fact harming.
They say that when you scratch depression you find anger and sorrow. Why not let it go? Find a good friend, a therapist, or just go for a weekend away and release it. Let it flow. Yell, scream, cry, beat up pillows or throw plates (yes, a friend of mine has done that), but let it out. Then ask your higher power to fill that aching, hurting, empty sore spot with as much love as you can handle so that too overflows.
Let it overflow, and let the love come out. When hurt occurs, send love. When callous words are spoken, or people strive to hurt you, send love. I know this isn't the "Dirty Harry" kind of revenge we see in the movies where everyone cheers when the bad guys get their come-uppance, but this is real life not Hollywood. We are living in an energetic Universe. Everything is energy and vibrates at frequencies that attract or repel. Love is a vibration, as is hate. By sending love, you attract love and repeal hate. By sending hate and revenge, you attract more of the same and repel love.
Does this mean that we have to embrace everything out there--including those that intentionally cause us pain? No. I have a friend that once said to me, "To be highly spiritual is to be highly grounded." Now in the ethers there may be no "right and wrong" but down here there is. There is a moral right and wrong. The right is what love is; the wrong causes the pain and anguish. I do not agree with supporting the ones causing the pain. Stand by those that are hurt by the wrong and give them love. You do not have to "hate" the wrong-doer--send them love and walk away. [This subject will be another blog, coming very shortly.]
Yes, love is the secret to success, to all that is. Let feelings flow through you. Hold on to the love and the good and send it out to others. Let the hurt wash through you. Let it cleanse your soul. The hurts, the challenges, hard as they are what define you. Let them strengthen you but not destroy you. Soar high, because I believe in you. I love you.
Now, pass it on.
We all do it. Things currently look bleak and fears for tomorrow kick in. We look back. We think of what might have been different, or what lessons we learned from our past that just might help us overcome the roadblocks of the present. I've been doing that dance the past three weeks. I learned the value of staying focused on where I want to go tonight.
I admit it, it's tough out there. It's tough to start a business, even doing what you love. It's tough to make the payments when there's little to no money coming in. I know at the depth of my being that my future is solid, that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, but why isn't it popping? Why isn't the financial situation rosier than the reality that my checkbook, shows? So, I looked back...
I was in sales--corporate America sales. I sold to the big payers--United, the Blues, etc. It was high-profile, fast-paced and big income. I loved making the money; I hated the lack of fulfillment and the constant beating down of self the job brought with it. I will never forget one of my fellow sales guys whispering in my ear during a pretty typical sales motivation/fear speech from our upper management, "The beatings will continue until morale improves." That about sums it up. So, why did I look back? I wanted the money, pure and simple. An easy way out, if just for the short-term.
I got a call from someone that had a job opportunity. I thought, "What the hell? I need the money." I talked, I interviewed, I got the job offer, or a pitiful excuse for one. Then why did I feel so dirty? Why did I feel my soul sink in my chest? Why did I tell my husband, "I'm about to sleep with the devil?" Because I looked back. Because I thought I could find an easy fix and bring some money in quicker than it seemed to be coming in as a start-up business owner. Then it all came flooding back...why I left, why I reached into myself to do something different--something that made a difference to everyone involved, not just the folks with a C in their title. And most of all, why my soul was screaming at me, "NO, NO, OH GOD NO!"
Yet part of me wonders, if the job offer was something I could live with, something that didn't insult but actually pleased me, would I sell my soul "just a little while" to pay some bills off? I'm really afraid the answer would be yes. So, is the Universe stepping in to assure that I continue on my path by making the offer so insulting? I probably will never know.
But I do know, I'm pushing on. I'm continuing on the path that FEELS right in my heart, my soul and the center of my being. I won't look back. Instead as I look at the bills on my desk, I know, I've got to know that something will happen, something will break, that will provide relief. I have to believe because I feel called to Clarity and Purpose, LLC, to make a difference. So, it will all work out....some way, some how. I have to believe it and I can't look back. I'm not going in that direction any more.
Change is a part of life. New beginnings, old endings and constant opportunities to re-invent oneself. It's also scary as hell and causes a lot of disruption. I'm living it! My family and I are settling in from a move. There are new neighbors to meet, new neighborhoods to explore, locating new stores, finding new doctors, and enrolling in new schools and making new friends. Overall, the kids are handling it well. Me, well, that's a different story.
I am a Transitions Life Coach. I specialize in this stuff. Yet there are always Lessons to learn and I am not immune. In fact, it seems that because of the lifepath I have chosen, my Lessons are usually pretty abrupt and in my face. Lovely...and thank God for a supportive family and a good sense of humor.
We move...or more like, we are moving. Because we are renting the old house, moving into the "new" home (I put the new in quote marks because it is anything but...a total fixer-upper), and it's 1.5 hours away, it's been a moving process. It's not easy, it's not smooth, nor is it done. First, we had to make the "new" home livable, or at least disease-free. This has been a challenge in itself (I type this as I sit here on week eight of a sinus infection triggered by allergies [I hope]) since we moved into a home that had been the humble abode of mice, various sorts of insects, and a mold infestation that was beyond impressive. We have the first taken care of, the second in varying degrees of success, and the last, a continuing battle. But I will win, or go crazy trying!
That is what I want to discuss--the "going crazy" part. I have been a different person since undergoing this move. I am short-tempered, irritable, impatient, and tired. I feel like I know what happened to the demon from the Exorcist as my head spins on my shoulders. This is not who I choose to be. I want the Beth who exudes inner peace, understanding, patience (okay, that has always been a work-in-progress), and grace. I am making changes to bring her forth. I am taking time for myself: I am meditating each day, eating healthier, and listening to my hypnotherapy mp3's I have written and recorded. It's working and I am opening my heart to it even more. I am taking time for me. Cleaning and painting can wait; I can not.
We need to take care of ourselves first before we can care for others. I know there are people out there that this statement sounds horrid. Women particularly, have been raised as nuturers always putting the needs of others before their own. Once everything is said and done, dishes done and kids tucked lovingly into bed, well that's the time that they can take care of themselves. Then they realize they are too exhausted and instead drop into a coma to awake to another day. Because they don't take care of themselves first and stifle their needs until a later time, anger builds and depression surfaces. Have you ever heard the phrase, "Scratch the surface of depression and anger wells up?" It's very true. Anger/depression and then disease--all because we won't take care of ourselves first.
We need to change this way of life. The kids aren't going to fall apart because Mom or Dad takes a day to themselves, but they sure will appreciate the new Mom or Dad that emerges. In fact, I would suggest that we look at things a little differently: we teach our children by example. We are teaching them they are worthy to take care of themselves, just as we are worthy enough to meet our own needs first. This is not selfish. This is survival.
Change is a part of life and it's how we handle it, or grow with it, that makes all the difference. I am proud to announce that I am feeling better (second day with healthy sinuses!) and am down 8 lbs! We are all work-in-progresses and change is natural and inevitable--and often a healthy choice we can make! Instead of resisting change, embrace it and make some changes in your own life that will make you more joyful, healthier and fill you with inner peace.
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