Change is a part of life.  New beginnings, old endings and constant opportunities to re-invent oneself.  It's also scary as hell and causes a lot of disruption.  I'm living it! My family and I are settling in from a move.  There are new neighbors to meet, new neighborhoods to explore, locating new stores, finding new doctors, and enrolling in new schools and making new friends.  Overall, the kids are handling it well.  Me, well, that's a different story.

I am a Transitions Life Coach.  I specialize in this stuff.  Yet there are always Lessons to learn and I am not immune.  In fact, it seems that because of the lifepath I have chosen, my Lessons are usually pretty abrupt and in my face.  Lovely...and thank God for a supportive family and a good sense of humor. 

We move...or more like, we are moving.  Because we are renting the old house, moving into the "new" home (I put the new in quote marks because it is anything but...a total fixer-upper), and it's 1.5 hours away, it's been a moving process.  It's not easy, it's not smooth, nor is it done.  First, we had to make the "new" home livable, or at least disease-free.  This has been a challenge in itself (I type this as I sit here on week eight of a sinus infection triggered by allergies [I hope]) since we moved into a home that had been the humble abode of mice, various sorts of insects, and a mold infestation that was beyond impressive.  We have the first taken care of, the second in varying degrees of success, and the last, a continuing battle.  But I will win, or go crazy trying!

That is what I want to discuss--the "going crazy" part.  I have been a different person since undergoing this move.  I am short-tempered, irritable, impatient, and tired.  I feel like I know what happened to the demon from the Exorcist as my head spins on my shoulders.  This is not who I choose to be.  I want the Beth who exudes inner peace, understanding, patience (okay, that has always been a work-in-progress), and grace.  I am making changes to bring her forth.  I am taking time for myself:  I am meditating each day, eating healthier, and listening to my hypnotherapy mp3's I have written and recorded.  It's working and I am opening my heart to it even more.  I am taking time for me.  Cleaning and painting can wait; I can not.

We need to take care of ourselves first before we can care for others. I know there are people out there that this statement sounds horrid.  Women particularly, have been raised as nuturers always putting the needs of others before their own.  Once everything is said and done, dishes done and kids tucked lovingly into bed, well that's the time that they can take care of themselves.  Then they realize they are too exhausted and instead drop into a coma to awake to another day.  Because they don't take care of themselves first and stifle their needs until a later time, anger builds and depression surfaces.  Have you ever heard the phrase, "Scratch the surface of depression and anger wells up?"  It's very true.  Anger/depression and then disease--all because we won't take care of ourselves first. 

We need to change this way of life.  The kids aren't going to fall apart because Mom or Dad takes a day to themselves, but they sure will appreciate the new Mom or Dad that emerges. In fact, I would suggest that we look at things a little differently:  we teach our children by example.  We are teaching them they are worthy to take care of themselves, just as we are worthy enough to meet our own needs first.  This is not selfish.  This is survival.   

Change is a part of life and it's how we handle it, or grow with it, that makes all the difference.  I am proud to announce that I am feeling better (second day with healthy sinuses!) and am down 8 lbs!  We are all work-in-progresses and change is natural and inevitable--and often a healthy choice we can make!  Instead of resisting change, embrace it and make some changes in your own life that will make you more joyful, healthier and fill you with inner peace.

Lesson 21:  I am determined to see things differently

I warn everyone about this Lesson - I am still processing things and the issues it has brought forth. 

The Lesson encourages you to search your mind carefully for situations past, present or anticipated that arouse anger in you.  Oh boy...unfortunately, anger is an emotion I am all too familiar with.  I don't like it but yet it's "comfortable."  It doesn't matter what level this anger presents - annoyance to rage.  I find myself focusing on events and people that bring about intense fury.

Maybe it's me and one of the many things I am to work on in this lifetime, but when I "perceive" someone has done something so atrocious to deserve punishment, or horrible karma times seven, I want to be on the front row with a bag of popcorn watching their come-uppance.  The idea brings a smile to my face as I think of all the horrible things these people deserve.  The Lesson notes that all forms of anger (even slight annoyance) is nothing but a veil drawn over intense fury.  Got that one covered...

We feel that some thoughts, and some people, deserve attacks that are more justified than others.  When these attack thoughts present themselves, the Lesson instructs us to hold each one in mind while we tell ourselves: 

"I am determined to see __________ differently." 

So....as I envision using my subject's testicles as pin cushions, I hold that joyous thought and then try and see it, and him, differently.  I also realize that if the situation hadn't turned out like it did, I wouldn't be where I am.  I also understand that the whole experience was part of my growth.  By experiencing a bad relationship(s), it opened me up to a good relationship(s).  I defined what I did want in a partner, and also what I found intolerable.  It molded me into who I needed to be to find the person that was perfect for me.  And I did.

I also realize that each of us has our own walk, our own growth, our own experiences we signed up for, and they all don't agree with each other--at least on initial review.  Maybe in the end, when we all have cycled through what we need to to get where we want to go, we can see the big picture.  The hurts that seem so large and personal now will neatly fit into a puzzle that define the soul and provide us the salvation we desire. 

Until that time, I will focus on seeing things differently as I cycle through my memories, and current events because "the beat goes on."  I won't always understand, because it isn't up to me to understand.  But I will try and give it the energy it deserves to heal and move forward to be the person I am meant to be.