This follows yesterday's lesson where we discussed that our meaningless thoughts are showing us a meaningless world. When we realize this perceptual distortion, it does kind of upset the apple cart. We often think the world is frightening, or mean, or beautiful and full of opportunities. All of these attributes are given by us. The world itself is meaningless.
We, as humans, feel obligated to define things. We label them and move on. It provides a sense of comfort to be able to do this. The Lesson states that beneath these words (our words) is written the Word of God. "The truth upsets you now, but when your words have been erased, you will see His." I get this; remove our limited thinking/labeling to see the bigger picture, or truth. There's one word in here that I focus on (well, two actually, dealing with the same) and that's "God" and "His."
Who is God? What is God? And how do we know it's a "He?" Now stop before you give me your knee-jerk response that has been ingrained in you since birth from a religious institution. Stop. Think. WHO IS GOD? WHAT IS GOD? Why do we say HE when it could be SHE or even IT, or THEM?
Before we get any further, let me tell you why I get hung up on this. I was raised by a traditional Protestant family. My mother was extremely religious; my father, more spiritual. We were taken to a Methodist church every Sunday and I was very active in Sunday School and the Youth Group. I sat through numerous sermons of a loving Father in heaven that gave us free will and freedom of choice, and then condemned us to hell if we didn't follow what we should. What exactly was that? I was always confused. Then I would hear the community talking about the same preacher that delivered the sermons abusing his wife and throwing her down the stairs. I have always been a firm believer in leading by example and having children has solidified this belief. It isn't what you say, it's what you do. But it goes deeper.
Ever since I was a little girl, I felt things were different. For example, I never believed we had one shot at getting it right. I was a young child in the 70's and recycling was not vogue. (Anyone that remembers the McDonald's BigMac styrofoam packaging can testify to that.) I remember thinking, "Why would God waste a perfectly good soul on just one lifetime?" I knew I had had multiple lives. I knew my soul had been here before and the body I was inhabiting now was just that....a body. It would die but my soul would live on, most likely in another body with it's own identity. I also didn't believe the church when it said we had one chance to get it right--heaven or hell. Judgment Day. As a 7-year old child, I just knew it wasn't right. But we all have a rough time shedding the beliefs ingrained in us.
I tried to make sense of it. I read the Bible every night, all different translations. I tried to live the Christian life...through my first marriage. I remember thinking the man was supposed to lead, according to the Bible. So, I let him lead. The Bible also said the man was supposed to be wise, but in the end it would all work out if he led. Uh-huh. As a woman, I was to know my place...I gave more to the relationship even though I got nothing in return. When I finally couldn't do it anymore, I questioned God. "WHY? Why? I followed what you said. I let him lead and I am so miserable, I can't put one foot in front of the other." I remember the response. Loud and clear. "I gave you a brain. In fact, it's better than most men." Duh. Got it. I walked out and it's been a spiritual evolution ever since.
Yet still the God thing and our cultural insistence on labeling God a male still disturbs me, and is disturbing me more and more as I age and am open to spirituality. I get into this circular argument. So, we all have been given the ability to create. (For those that argue this point, we procreate, so focus on that.) And we are made in "his" image. So, God created us, we create our reality (and progeny); who created God? It's the chicken and the egg discussion. Seriously, what created this God-image and how did it all get started?
Some people believe there is one God and HE is the creator of everything. Others call it Spirit, or the Divine, or the Universe. Heck, there are some that believe aliens are our God(s) and created us, or at least gave our DNA a boost from the chimpanzee stage of our evolution. If any of this is true, where did THEY come from? How were THEY created?
(Personally, to clarify for those that are thinking I'm just a man-hater, I believe God/Spirit/Divine is bigger than our limited view of gender. That's why it's hard for me to fit the Divine into one gender-specific category.)
These are the things I ponder from 1-4am. Yet, as I read over this, I realize I have fallen into the same trap. I am trying to define my beliefs, my world, so that it makes some kind of sense to me. Yet, it is all meaningless. I have to understand this...by removing my words, the truth will be revealed. So, I erase my words. Who or what will I see?